So I worked my first (EVER!) full 40 hour work week this week. I know the fact that I've not worked 40 hrs. before has surprised some of my friends, but I'm not sure why they would be surprised. Either way this week wasn't as bad as I feared. I'm still trying to get used to not having as much of "my" time as I used to... and that's been the hardest parts. I had all these ideas and plans (mostly regarding grad school) but I'm worried that not having time to properly stew (read: procrastinate/obsess) over my options and figure out what it is I want to study will keep me from pursuing going to grad school. My "brother" pointed out to me the other night that I don't usually have to work hard for things... they tend to just fall into my lap. And as much as I hate to admit it I think, that for the most part, he's right.

I don't usually have to work hard or fight for things. I've been really lucky in this regard. In the past few years I've experienced academic hardships that I'd never faced before... and while I wish I could say I managed to surpass them with a grace and elegance, the truth is that I didn't. In any way shape or form, conduct myself with any sort of maturity. In fact I whined and cried (literally) and bitched my way through those challenges.

I don't know if that means that I'm afraid of hard work. I mean if we're honest with ourselves no one wants to think of themselves that way. But maybe deep down inside we all know that it is the way we are. if there's a shortcut or an easier way to do it... why not?  I don't know if I would say that I've taken short-cuts in life, I suppose it depends on how you look at it? Or what sort of life you think is the most "honest"?