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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Glee Season 2 & Finale Review
Glee is one of my “must watch” shows. In fact it’s one of the few shoes that I still watch “live” when it airs. But for me season 2 has been a little disappointing. There’s been too much wacky and zany moments; from Sue’s turn as the Grinch in “A Very Glee Christmas” to Emma’s sudden marriage to and subsequent separation form “Dr. Carl D.D.S.” to Finn thinking that a cucumber can give you AIDS in “Sexy.” (Then again is this any harder to believe than the fact that he thought you could get pregnant via hot tub.)
But I continue to watch because there are great moments/episodes. The post Super Bowl “Sue Sylvester Shuffle” was such a strong comeback from the shows two month hiatus. And “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” was also another notable episode.
My fear is that Glee is about to go the way that “Heroes” did. Yeah. Remember that show? “Save the cheerleader. Save the world.” And then the next three seasons were crap and they were canceled long after anyone was watching.
But onto the season finale: (If this review seems disjointed it’s because that’s exactly how the finale left me feeling.) I agree with Joel Keller’s TV Squad review for the most part. There wasn’t anything particularly “Season Finale-ish” in this episode. In regards to Finn/Rachel I was really hoping that she would remain true to her “no boys, no distractions” rule and seeing her and Kurt sing that duet together on the stage of Wicked really makes me cheer her on. But alas, the passion is too much for her to bear and she and Finn kiss and reunite in the middle of their set at nationals.
The kiss is not unexpected and it’s nothing special, except for Finn and Rachel. The world melts away and that kiss is the only thing that matters in that moment.
In other storylines we see Quinn’s evil plan was nothing more than a simple “tattle” on Rachel and Kurt for sneaking out when the Glee club was on lockdown. Seriously?! Where’s the conniving queen B from last season who schemed to convince Finn he was her baby daddy and planned to let Teri have the baby so she could fool Will? Instead all she wants is someone to love her, and all se needs is a haircut? Really? No going AWOL right before nationals? No locking Rachel into a closet and setting it on fire? I expected more from you Fabray. Much more.
There’s a moment where Puck & Zizes are sitting at the hotel bar and try to order drinks which seems fitting for their characters but slightly out of place in this episode. But there were a lot of other things out of place in this episode. In fact the entire ending seemed like it was cobbled together at the last minute.
After we find out that New Directions has not in fact qualified to semi-finals in nationals we’re back in an Ohio Blaine New York Blaine
To break this tension Sam and Mercedes enter and we’re treated with another odd/tense interaction with Mercedes and Sam claiming to have “run into one another” at the coffee shop and then they walk away from Kurt/Blaine and we see their hands intertwined as they whisper “do you think they know?’ to each other. Seriously out of left field.
There’s some Mr. Schue stuff too, where Matt Morrison sings a song, (which doesn’t really relate to anything happening in the episode) off his newly released album, then deciding not to go chase his Broadway dreams (even for just a summer!) after all.
What I think I’d like to see in season 3 is a return to telling the story of the Glee-clubbers. When will we meet Rachel’s two gay dads? (Who would have in all actuality NEVER missed her NY debut) and what about Sam’s homelessness or “Furt” and their family? I’d also would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see more about Tina/Mike if we could do so without breaking them up (because seriously? I <3 them)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Dreams Dreams Dreams
What is your dream?
My dream life looks like this: I live in a nice apartment/condo w/ my significant other or with a really good friend. It's in a nice neighborhood and is a secure building with ammenities like a pool and a grilling area or gym. I have a great job that pays me enough that I can survive comfortably (and has all the usual benefits plus perks) have co-workers who are awesome and smart and friendly. (like the ones I have now) There’s writing involved for this job, and some travel, and lots of food/style/pop culture research. I also write novels and non-fiction books, which are published once or twice a year. I have a great group of friends (including my current ones) and have lots of time to spend with them and with my family. Everyone is happy and healthy. I travel to lots of other countries and to all 50 states. I speak several languages with varying degrees of fluency and people are instantly at ease in my presence. I matter and make a difference in my part of the world.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
china glaze III
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Essie Pretty Edgy
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Glee "A Night of Neglect" review
So this is my first TV episode review... I know it's not really what I usually write here but a friend told me that if I wanted people to read what I write, I should write things they want to read about. So since I know a lot of people adore Glee I figured I'd write a review about tonight's episode and see what happens.
Tonight's Glee was the show's return after a month long hiatus and I personally thought that it was a soft return. Like testing the water with your big toe before jumping in. WARNING: Spoilers ahead.
We open with the Glee kids in the practice room, and Mr. Shue pitches a fund-raising idea of selling salt water taffy in order for the club to make money for nationals. What I really liked about this scene was that Mike Chang got a chance to stand out from the crowd. After listening to Santana and Quinn complain about how being in Glee club still wasn't making them (more) popular he stands up and announces that he's tired of hearing them complain. (Amen brother) He goes on to tell the club about how the academic decathlon team at McKinley high is also going to nationals and he, Tina, Artie, and Brittany weren't able to go because they didn't have the money.
This is the jumping point for the rest of the episode. Mr. Shue offers to try and raise money for the aca-dec team along with the Glee club by moving more pieces of taffy. It's his girlfriend Holly Holiday who tells him to dream bigger and have a benefit show to raise money.
Then there's the return of Sunshine who offers to help the McKinley high kids with their benefit by starring in their "night of neglect." She auditions with Celine Dion's "All By Myself" and is amazing (as expected) Rachel doesn't trust her but goes along with the majority of the group and concedes to let Sunshine preform.
This pushes Mercedes further away from the spotlight and Lauren decides to push her into standing up for herself and to make some demands to show that she expects her talent to be recognized. The best moment in the night comes from this storyline. After Sunshine fails to show up Rachel is sent out to talk Mercedes into singing. This heart to heart really lays it all out on the line. When Mercedes asks Rachel why she isn't as big of a star as Rachel is; Rachel replies that because nothing else matters to her more than being a star. Not being liked, not being loved. And she's not kidding herself that this is healthy, it simply is the way she's natured.
As Mercedes sings her heart out we see Rachel standing offstage, she glaces out at the audience to see Finn and Quinn snuggled up together; looks back to the stage to see Mercedes standing in (her) the spotlight as we see her face crumble for a moment. But she pulls it together in the end and shows how much she's grown since season 1 and manages to step aside and let Mercedes be the hero.
There's also the side plot of Holly Holiday and Mr. Shue's relationship coming to an end. But I didn't find that story line very intriguing. She catches his sharing a (overly?) friendly moment with Emma and he walks in on her being hit-on by one of the Legion (League) of Doom (Evil). Then she tells him she needs space and sings a break up song at the benefit.
There's also the formation of the Legion/League of Doom/Evil but again less interesting except for the resolution that it brings this episode to. One of the members of the Legion (pink Dagger) has a weakness to Aretha and decides to fund the brainiacs to go to nationals.Small problem solved, larger question of Glee nationals to contend with.
...And that's my review of this week's episode of Glee... again thanks for reading it (I know it's not exactly what you signed up for when you decided to read my little corner of the world but hey... you know me) lol.
Tonight's Glee was the show's return after a month long hiatus and I personally thought that it was a soft return. Like testing the water with your big toe before jumping in. WARNING: Spoilers ahead.
We open with the Glee kids in the practice room, and Mr. Shue pitches a fund-raising idea of selling salt water taffy in order for the club to make money for nationals. What I really liked about this scene was that Mike Chang got a chance to stand out from the crowd. After listening to Santana and Quinn complain about how being in Glee club still wasn't making them (more) popular he stands up and announces that he's tired of hearing them complain. (Amen brother) He goes on to tell the club about how the academic decathlon team at McKinley high is also going to nationals and he, Tina, Artie, and Brittany weren't able to go because they didn't have the money.
This is the jumping point for the rest of the episode. Mr. Shue offers to try and raise money for the aca-dec team along with the Glee club by moving more pieces of taffy. It's his girlfriend Holly Holiday who tells him to dream bigger and have a benefit show to raise money.
Then there's the return of Sunshine who offers to help the McKinley high kids with their benefit by starring in their "night of neglect." She auditions with Celine Dion's "All By Myself" and is amazing (as expected) Rachel doesn't trust her but goes along with the majority of the group and concedes to let Sunshine preform.
This pushes Mercedes further away from the spotlight and Lauren decides to push her into standing up for herself and to make some demands to show that she expects her talent to be recognized. The best moment in the night comes from this storyline. After Sunshine fails to show up Rachel is sent out to talk Mercedes into singing. This heart to heart really lays it all out on the line. When Mercedes asks Rachel why she isn't as big of a star as Rachel is; Rachel replies that because nothing else matters to her more than being a star. Not being liked, not being loved. And she's not kidding herself that this is healthy, it simply is the way she's natured.
As Mercedes sings her heart out we see Rachel standing offstage, she glaces out at the audience to see Finn and Quinn snuggled up together; looks back to the stage to see Mercedes standing in (her) the spotlight as we see her face crumble for a moment. But she pulls it together in the end and shows how much she's grown since season 1 and manages to step aside and let Mercedes be the hero.
There's also the side plot of Holly Holiday and Mr. Shue's relationship coming to an end. But I didn't find that story line very intriguing. She catches his sharing a (overly?) friendly moment with Emma and he walks in on her being hit-on by one of the Legion (League) of Doom (Evil). Then she tells him she needs space and sings a break up song at the benefit.
There's also the formation of the Legion/League of Doom/Evil but again less interesting except for the resolution that it brings this episode to. One of the members of the Legion (pink Dagger) has a weakness to Aretha and decides to fund the brainiacs to go to nationals.Small problem solved, larger question of Glee nationals to contend with.
...And that's my review of this week's episode of Glee... again thanks for reading it (I know it's not exactly what you signed up for when you decided to read my little corner of the world but hey... you know me) lol.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
still here
I haven't abandoned you little blog! I'm just not sure what to post....but I'll figure it out by writing more and seeing what I like.
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Monday, March 7, 2011
Thanks and much love
I just wanted to thank everyone who came out this weekend to help me celebrate my b-day! It was wonderful being surrounded by such great friends!!! I felt very loved and lucky to have all of you in my life. It took me all day Sunday to recover form the festivities so I guess I really am getting older (lol)!
Thanks again you guys. Love you!
Thanks again you guys. Love you!
Friday, February 25, 2011
My Eat the Street Yelp review!!
http://www.yelp.com/biz/eat-the-street---street-grindz-honolulu#hrid:GSidZcuTTTyoC8sjTJrvlg
Thursday, February 24, 2011
diet dilemma
I have never been on a diet. And this is not because I'm so healthy and happy with my body and my weight. Rather it's more just I'mnot disciplined enough to "be on a diet." What I tend to mean when I say/think to myself "oh I'm on a diet" is that I'm either trying to eat healthier or eat less. Sometimes I'll also include exercise into this new "diet."
The point of this is that now I've decided/resolved to go on a diet. Well no, that's not entirely true. I've resolved to loose weight. But I'm not entirely sure how. I mean, I know what a "diet" entails... no fried foods, more veggies, blah blah blah. I read diet books, and diet/fitness magazines and blogs. So in theory I know what I need to do. It's the actually doing part that tends to be my hurdle.
I think this is probably the people. I mean seriously, by this point we all know that we should avoid refined "simple" carbs (like white sugar, white bread, etc.) and eat more leafy greens and lean proteins. But if it were that simple wouldn't losing weight be easier? I mean, I actually like healthy foods so what's the problem?
I spend bascially all day thinking about food. From getting up in the morning and having my breakfast (usually cereal) to grabbing the lunch I packed and then figuring out my dinner plans. I think about what I should make for the next day's lunch or how I can pre-cook some breakfast items so I don't have to always have the same thing in the mornings...food totally dominates my day. Does this make me a "foodie" or a fat-ass?
Maybe I should just pick up a diet book and eat whatever the hell it tells me to eat... but I hate the idea of not being in control of what I eat. Maybe I should make my own diet book? But that might backfire in a spectacular way.
Or maybe I should just take my ass to the gym more often (read: at all).
The point of this is that now I've decided/resolved to go on a diet. Well no, that's not entirely true. I've resolved to loose weight. But I'm not entirely sure how. I mean, I know what a "diet" entails... no fried foods, more veggies, blah blah blah. I read diet books, and diet/fitness magazines and blogs. So in theory I know what I need to do. It's the actually doing part that tends to be my hurdle.
I think this is probably the people. I mean seriously, by this point we all know that we should avoid refined "simple" carbs (like white sugar, white bread, etc.) and eat more leafy greens and lean proteins. But if it were that simple wouldn't losing weight be easier? I mean, I actually like healthy foods so what's the problem?
I spend bascially all day thinking about food. From getting up in the morning and having my breakfast (usually cereal) to grabbing the lunch I packed and then figuring out my dinner plans. I think about what I should make for the next day's lunch or how I can pre-cook some breakfast items so I don't have to always have the same thing in the mornings...food totally dominates my day. Does this make me a "foodie" or a fat-ass?
Maybe I should just pick up a diet book and eat whatever the hell it tells me to eat... but I hate the idea of not being in control of what I eat. Maybe I should make my own diet book? But that might backfire in a spectacular way.
Or maybe I should just take my ass to the gym more often (read: at all).
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day to my wonderful group of friends. I love you guys and here's why:
To anyone I may have missed... I can only offer my sincerest apologies. Your friendship means a lot to me even if I can't put it into words. I hope everyone of you had a great day today!
- Melissa: you've been there for me through out all these years. We make a pretty good team when we take on the world together.
- Marleen: you're the most sensible person I know and you've helped me get through a lot of stuff by keeping my head on my shoulders.
- Cherie: you are my hetero life partner, my more evil other half, and the person who I can say anything to. I don't know where I would be without you to lean on.
- miss Laura: you are the best. I always know that I can count on you to hear me out and help me see the other side. You always cheer me up when I'm feeling blah.
- Michelle: you challenge me to think about things that I otherwise never would. and even though we often don't agree on things, we still respect one another and always have a great time together!
- Whitney: my food soulmate! You keep it real and tell it like it is. I know I can count on you to tell me if I'm in the wrong, over-reacting, or being a bitch. (and we all know sometimes I need to hear it)
- Kim: you're goofy and introduce me to new bands. Oh and you tought me how to make googe!
- Doug: you're one of the best people I know. You never fail to see things in a way that suprises and enlightens me. You're like a brother to me; if fact you're closer to me than my real brother is.
- Brandon: you keep my faith in men alive. You and marleen's love and faith in one another is something that i aspire to. I know you've got my back :-)
- Justin: you put in a lot of effort to maintain our friendship. I appreciate the fact that you're willing to visit my world from time to time.
- Ray: I'll always remember working those closing and weekend shifts at the library with you! fun times and a lot of really good conversations. your friendship reminds me to try to be more selfless and to give back.
- Stephen: you always make me laugh with your crazy facial morphing expressions and your mocking girlish high-pitched singing of pop songs.
- Keli'i & Jason: I miss you guys! You were both such integral memebers of our group...things haven't been the same since the two of you left!
To anyone I may have missed... I can only offer my sincerest apologies. Your friendship means a lot to me even if I can't put it into words. I hope everyone of you had a great day today!
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Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
when i grow up...
I don't really think of myself as a grown-up yet. In fact, I often still think in terms of "when I grow up" except it's usually more phrased as "when I get my own place/move out"... But I suppose I do have a grown up job.
I don't know if you'd (or I'd) call it a career, but it's a full time office job. It's the daily grind, 9-5 (or in my case ), 40 hours a week.
I've had this job now for a little over two months, and just over a month of being truly full-time... and I'm already over it. Not the job (per se) but I'm over the "excitement" of having a grown up job. The novelty of early morning coffees and packing a cute little bento lunch has worn off.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the routine-ness of it. In fact I usually appreciate having a routine. And it’s not that the work is terribly boring or my co-workers horrible or anything….
It’s nothing specific then, but more just the way my neck tenses up and I get all jumpy and insecure whenever I’ve faced with a new task at work. For instance I don't have my own phone line at work, so whenever I need to make a call I need go use someone elses phone. This makes me seriously uncomfortable and I find myself either practicing what I'm going to say to the person on the other line or me waiting until my co-workers is sick or goes out for lunch in order to make a phone call so I'm not bothering them or overheard by them.
I'm not sure if this is normal behavior or not. I don't have anything to judge it against. I’ve think it’s mostly I don’t like looking incompetent… and usually I have no problem asking for help or for someone to clarify something but with work I guess it’s different? Maybe it’s because it’s not a “learning environment” and also because if I don’t ask and I do it wrong there may be serious consequences for myself, my department, the state, and possibly the accused.
Jeez… it’s a lot of pressure.
I don't know if you'd (or I'd) call it a career, but it's a full time office job. It's the daily grind, 9-5 (or in my case ), 40 hours a week.
I've had this job now for a little over two months, and just over a month of being truly full-time... and I'm already over it. Not the job (per se) but I'm over the "excitement" of having a grown up job. The novelty of early morning coffees and packing a cute little bento lunch has worn off.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the routine-ness of it. In fact I usually appreciate having a routine. And it’s not that the work is terribly boring or my co-workers horrible or anything….
It’s nothing specific then, but more just the way my neck tenses up and I get all jumpy and insecure whenever I’ve faced with a new task at work. For instance I don't have my own phone line at work, so whenever I need to make a call I need go use someone elses phone. This makes me seriously uncomfortable and I find myself either practicing what I'm going to say to the person on the other line or me waiting until my co-workers is sick or goes out for lunch in order to make a phone call so I'm not bothering them or overheard by them.
I'm not sure if this is normal behavior or not. I don't have anything to judge it against. I’ve think it’s mostly I don’t like looking incompetent… and usually I have no problem asking for help or for someone to clarify something but with work I guess it’s different? Maybe it’s because it’s not a “learning environment” and also because if I don’t ask and I do it wrong there may be serious consequences for myself, my department, the state, and possibly the accused.
Jeez… it’s a lot of pressure.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
When a writer can't find the words to express themselves well either a) they're not a very good writer or b) the subject is too close to them for them to be able to do anything other than feel.
I feel sad about the (hopefully) temporary lost of our friendship. I also feel like that even if we somehow worked through it and made-up that nothing would be the same. Something has been lost (on my end at least.) It's like now that I know how unimportant my friendship was to you, I can never really trust it (and by extension you) again.
It's weird you know because I spend a lot of my time hoping that you'll forgive me and that we can be friends again. That we could go back to the easy understanding that existed between us. But I guess on some level I doubt that that can happen. It's a flaw that's been pointed out to me before: that I can never let things go. The knowledge that you could walk away at any time would always be with me, and would overshadow my interactions with you.
Maybe asking for a close friendship is asking for too much. Maybe if we can be friends again it would be best if it were a more a see you once every few months kind of friendship as opposed to being best friends.
It's funny because I spend all this time worried about this. Our friendship. and if and how we'll make up. And I have no idea if you've even given it a second thought or if you've already written me off as someone "you used to be friends with."
either way I guess the simple fact that I do care about this situation at all proves that I do want us to be friends again. I don't know what that amount to though.
I feel sad about the (hopefully) temporary lost of our friendship. I also feel like that even if we somehow worked through it and made-up that nothing would be the same. Something has been lost (on my end at least.) It's like now that I know how unimportant my friendship was to you, I can never really trust it (and by extension you) again.
It's weird you know because I spend a lot of my time hoping that you'll forgive me and that we can be friends again. That we could go back to the easy understanding that existed between us. But I guess on some level I doubt that that can happen. It's a flaw that's been pointed out to me before: that I can never let things go. The knowledge that you could walk away at any time would always be with me, and would overshadow my interactions with you.
Maybe asking for a close friendship is asking for too much. Maybe if we can be friends again it would be best if it were a more a see you once every few months kind of friendship as opposed to being best friends.
It's funny because I spend all this time worried about this. Our friendship. and if and how we'll make up. And I have no idea if you've even given it a second thought or if you've already written me off as someone "you used to be friends with."
either way I guess the simple fact that I do care about this situation at all proves that I do want us to be friends again. I don't know what that amount to though.
Friday, January 28, 2011
the opposite of when things fall apart
There I was waiting in line for about an hour to get a grilled cheese sandwich for eight bucks from a food truck with a couple hundred other people surrounding me all laughing, talking, yelping, texting, updating and posting to facebook and their blogs and I thought to myself "this is exactly where I should be."
It was my first time at a food/yelp event and I have to say it was a really good experience; I actually felt as though I was around my peers for once. A group of people who share the same interests that I have. It felt like Hawaii actually had something to offer twenty-somethings who were looking to experience something cool and different for once.
Maybe it's just because I don't usually venture out of my comfort zone all too often. I don't really check out the cool downtown/chinatown hot spots... but I wonder if I should try. Maybe I do belong here in Hawaii but in a different scene then I usually check out. I still feel that there are a lot of things that Hawaii needs if it wants to keep talented young people here. We need to build a network and culture where start-ups and innovation can actually find a community to serve. Yes, I've been snarky and judgmental about Hawaii kids who go to the mainland for college and then move back and try to re-create their LA "scenes" here. I think I might be beginning to understand what the motivation was behind those decisions.
Why can't Hawaii be a metropolitan city? Why can't we have a diverse and varied nightlife scene? We need more museums and exhibits to explore. More botanical gardens and more of the unexpected. We need to prove to Generation ME that Hawaii offers them all types of career, recreational, and social opportunities if we expect them to stay here.
I love Hawaii. It's where I grew up and I can't imagine a better place to live. But I always thought I'd have to leave it someday in order to be a success and "to find myself/happiness". But maybe it's possible that Hawaii is changing and growing right along side me and that I'll be able to make a place for myself here after all.
It was my first time at a food/yelp event and I have to say it was a really good experience; I actually felt as though I was around my peers for once. A group of people who share the same interests that I have. It felt like Hawaii actually had something to offer twenty-somethings who were looking to experience something cool and different for once.
Maybe it's just because I don't usually venture out of my comfort zone all too often. I don't really check out the cool downtown/chinatown hot spots... but I wonder if I should try. Maybe I do belong here in Hawaii but in a different scene then I usually check out. I still feel that there are a lot of things that Hawaii needs if it wants to keep talented young people here. We need to build a network and culture where start-ups and innovation can actually find a community to serve. Yes, I've been snarky and judgmental about Hawaii kids who go to the mainland for college and then move back and try to re-create their LA "scenes" here. I think I might be beginning to understand what the motivation was behind those decisions.
Why can't Hawaii be a metropolitan city? Why can't we have a diverse and varied nightlife scene? We need more museums and exhibits to explore. More botanical gardens and more of the unexpected. We need to prove to Generation ME that Hawaii offers them all types of career, recreational, and social opportunities if we expect them to stay here.
I love Hawaii. It's where I grew up and I can't imagine a better place to live. But I always thought I'd have to leave it someday in order to be a success and "to find myself/happiness". But maybe it's possible that Hawaii is changing and growing right along side me and that I'll be able to make a place for myself here after all.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
did anyone else watch the President's State of the Union address last night? I caught it at work today and I have to admit something here: I don't get his salmon joke. The food blogs I read were all a buzz with "the salmon joke" and after watching the address in its entirety I still don't get it. Is "smoked" code for something? <confusion>
But President Obama's words did mean something to me. While there were times I was cynical and snarky (like when I saw the look on the speaker of the house when the President brought up his health care reform) or vapid and shallow (like when I noticed how long everyone's ties were) I still managed to get something out of the speech.
I do think that America needs to look into a sustainable energy plan. I'm all for solar/wind/wave power and I agree that we need to invest time and money towards research in those fields. I was less interested in the infrastructure of our roadways/ high speed rail that President Obama mentioned. But that's probably because I live in Hawaii and wouldn't see much (if any) benefit from those improvements.
I was listening to a "This American Life" podcast the other day and they had a young girl (about 14) as a guest who was very politically minded. She didn't believe in the global warming. I was stunned. But I suppose I understand... she has the right to her opinions (even though I personally feel she's wrong) (and kinda dumb) (sorry). but it got me thinking... what do I believe?
I apologize for the lack of eloquence in this blog post. If it comes across and disjointed and disorganized it's probably because I'm not entirely sure what I believe.... maybe I'll let this sit and ferment in my brain for a while and come back to it after I've really given it some time and thought.
But President Obama's words did mean something to me. While there were times I was cynical and snarky (like when I saw the look on the speaker of the house when the President brought up his health care reform) or vapid and shallow (like when I noticed how long everyone's ties were) I still managed to get something out of the speech.
I do think that America needs to look into a sustainable energy plan. I'm all for solar/wind/wave power and I agree that we need to invest time and money towards research in those fields. I was less interested in the infrastructure of our roadways/ high speed rail that President Obama mentioned. But that's probably because I live in Hawaii and wouldn't see much (if any) benefit from those improvements.
I was listening to a "This American Life" podcast the other day and they had a young girl (about 14) as a guest who was very politically minded. She didn't believe in the global warming. I was stunned. But I suppose I understand... she has the right to her opinions (even though I personally feel she's wrong) (and kinda dumb) (sorry). but it got me thinking... what do I believe?
I apologize for the lack of eloquence in this blog post. If it comes across and disjointed and disorganized it's probably because I'm not entirely sure what I believe.... maybe I'll let this sit and ferment in my brain for a while and come back to it after I've really given it some time and thought.
Oh sh*t
I totally broke my work computer... poor IT guy is still trying to fix it. My bad.
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Miss match
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
positive pressure
I like posting my outfit of the day because it kinda forces me to put more thought into what I'm wearing than I might normally. For instance (I'm not sure if you can tell) but I'm wearing a turquoise tank under my shirt today instead of my normal perference for a black/white/gray because I thought to myself: maybe I need some color after seeing the first pic with a gray cami under my button down.
I've also realized it's probably better if I just leave the top three buttons unbuttoned so that A) you can see more of my layering shirt and B) the thrid button of my shirts don't threaten to pop off at any given time.
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Sunday, January 23, 2011
Things I like to eat
This is by no means a comprehensive list.
Pizza, cheeseburgers, mac & cheese, baked potatoes, perogies, dumplings, quesdillas, stuffed mushrooms, pasta, steak, fried chicken, roast pork, duck, onion rings, cupcakes, custards, mashed potatoes, bread, enchaladas, green onion pancakes, chinese black bean noodles, spinich, feta cheese, tazitki, curry, pho, twice baked potatos, chicken pot pie, sushi, fried rice, hot dogs, tomato bisque, rice cake (chinese or korean style), butter mochi, oysters, string beans, edamame hummus, garlic chicken, tacos.
Pizza, cheeseburgers, mac & cheese, baked potatoes, perogies, dumplings, quesdillas, stuffed mushrooms, pasta, steak, fried chicken, roast pork, duck, onion rings, cupcakes, custards, mashed potatoes, bread, enchaladas, green onion pancakes, chinese black bean noodles, spinich, feta cheese, tazitki, curry, pho, twice baked potatos, chicken pot pie, sushi, fried rice, hot dogs, tomato bisque, rice cake (chinese or korean style), butter mochi, oysters, string beans, edamame hummus, garlic chicken, tacos.
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Friday, January 21, 2011
the devine
I understand that we tend to lash out and hurt the ones we love when we are hurting... I myself am guilty of this. We do this for several reasons: they're there, they'll let us, and we expect them to forgive us (because they 'love' us). I've been thinking about this a lot of the past few days and the more I think about it the less sense it makes.
If I had an arguement with someone and they hit me no one would say "oh s/he was just angry... give them some time to calm down." But If you argue with someone and they deal you an emotional blow with words... that's another story... that's a forgivable offense. Why do we forgive emotional pain, when the scars left by those attacks are the ones that (arguably) leave us the most damaged and broken?
This may just be my defense mechanism kicking in to protect my oh-so-delicate-psyche/feelings but I'm kinda thinking that if someone hurts you, in whatever way (physical, emotional, virtual, financial, etc.) that you should just write that person and relationship off as toxic. I understand that the ability to forgive is a virture and I'm sure there are relationships that aren't so easy to walk away from (ex: family) but at some point we need to protect ourselves from the torrential downpour of negativity that we feel and freeing ourselves of people who continually hurt us is a good way to start.
It's the continually hurt us part that is tricky. As we tell the victims of domestic (physical) abuse "if s/he hit you once... odds are they'll do it again." At what point in an emotionally violent relationship do we say "now that's crossing the line?" How do we know when to walk away and when we should forgive? Is this an individual decision we all have to make for ourselves? To judge when our benevelonce has been shoved to the point of no return?
I'm not saying that I'm incapable of forgiveness... I like to believe that I am, but who knows if that's actually true or not? We never see ourselves clearly anyhow. But I do know that I'm not sure I believe that anyone else really forgives anyone else.. it may be possible to move on from the situation/arguement/problem but to forgive: is that really just another form of denial? Do we pretend that the event never happened? Or does forgiveness say "it's okay that it happened" because honestly, it's not okay... that's why we got mad/sad in the first place. Does it mean "I forgive because you didn't mean to"? and what if they did mean to? What if their intent, at that exact moment, was to hurt you? But now they regret hurting you/saying those things... but they don't regret that initial intention. It's never I regret my intention to hurt your feelings... instead we regret that we actually hurt the other's feelings. Like I don't regret wanting to kill you... I regret actually killing you.
people suck. they'll let you down. disapoint you. and yet, they're all we have.
awesome.
If I had an arguement with someone and they hit me no one would say "oh s/he was just angry... give them some time to calm down." But If you argue with someone and they deal you an emotional blow with words... that's another story... that's a forgivable offense. Why do we forgive emotional pain, when the scars left by those attacks are the ones that (arguably) leave us the most damaged and broken?
This may just be my defense mechanism kicking in to protect my oh-so-delicate-psyche/feelings but I'm kinda thinking that if someone hurts you, in whatever way (physical, emotional, virtual, financial, etc.) that you should just write that person and relationship off as toxic. I understand that the ability to forgive is a virture and I'm sure there are relationships that aren't so easy to walk away from (ex: family) but at some point we need to protect ourselves from the torrential downpour of negativity that we feel and freeing ourselves of people who continually hurt us is a good way to start.
It's the continually hurt us part that is tricky. As we tell the victims of domestic (physical) abuse "if s/he hit you once... odds are they'll do it again." At what point in an emotionally violent relationship do we say "now that's crossing the line?" How do we know when to walk away and when we should forgive? Is this an individual decision we all have to make for ourselves? To judge when our benevelonce has been shoved to the point of no return?
I'm not saying that I'm incapable of forgiveness... I like to believe that I am, but who knows if that's actually true or not? We never see ourselves clearly anyhow. But I do know that I'm not sure I believe that anyone else really forgives anyone else.. it may be possible to move on from the situation/arguement/problem but to forgive: is that really just another form of denial? Do we pretend that the event never happened? Or does forgiveness say "it's okay that it happened" because honestly, it's not okay... that's why we got mad/sad in the first place. Does it mean "I forgive because you didn't mean to"? and what if they did mean to? What if their intent, at that exact moment, was to hurt you? But now they regret hurting you/saying those things... but they don't regret that initial intention. It's never I regret my intention to hurt your feelings... instead we regret that we actually hurt the other's feelings. Like I don't regret wanting to kill you... I regret actually killing you.
people suck. they'll let you down. disapoint you. and yet, they're all we have.
awesome.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
turbulence & turmoil
The forcast for Oahu today includes: cloudy skies, thunderstorms, lightning, gusting winds and small hail. To me this seems appropriate enough. It's as though the weather is a reflection of my own inner anguish. A high surf advisory has also been issued, and as I think about the waves crashing down onto our shores I can't help but feel that the world (for today at least) is empathizing with me. Can I weather the storm until the waters calm? Will I be able to navigate the treacherous road that disappears into palces unknown and undreamed of?
My last thoughts before I fall alseep have been "I guess you're still mad," and "I hope you forgive me," and my first thought these past few mornings as I wake up has been "I guess you're still mad." I feel powerless to do anything about it. I suppose if our friendship can not withstand this test then it was never as strong as I imgained it was.
I'm not sure what upsets me more. The fact that I may have been wrong about our level of friendship and understanding of one another or the fact that I may have lost a friendship as close as ours. I wish I could change things, take back that moment of my insensitivity and heartlessness. But I can't. All I can do now is wait. Wait for you to make a decision. Wait for you to inform me of that decision. Wait for the crushing blow of the water to drive me under and either emerge renewed or remain drowned and disoriented below the surface.
My last thoughts before I fall alseep have been "I guess you're still mad," and "I hope you forgive me," and my first thought these past few mornings as I wake up has been "I guess you're still mad." I feel powerless to do anything about it. I suppose if our friendship can not withstand this test then it was never as strong as I imgained it was.
I'm not sure what upsets me more. The fact that I may have been wrong about our level of friendship and understanding of one another or the fact that I may have lost a friendship as close as ours. I wish I could change things, take back that moment of my insensitivity and heartlessness. But I can't. All I can do now is wait. Wait for you to make a decision. Wait for you to inform me of that decision. Wait for the crushing blow of the water to drive me under and either emerge renewed or remain drowned and disoriented below the surface.
Monday, January 17, 2011
A night for the books
Sometimes you have those nights you never want to forget, others are nights you can't remember... tonight was not either of those types of nights, rather it was one of those nights that you can never forget no matter how much you may want to or how hard you try.
Complete honesty is a little hard here because well, I personally know all the ppl that read my blog. But the goal is in theory for me to share my thought with the "world" so to speak so here's what I can say/am willing to share: I hate the way the night ended. I'm saddened and distressed by the events that happened and by what was said. I feel like something has broken and I'm at a complete loss as to how to fix things or if they even can be fixed.
I hope things are clearer in the morning for us all.
Complete honesty is a little hard here because well, I personally know all the ppl that read my blog. But the goal is in theory for me to share my thought with the "world" so to speak so here's what I can say/am willing to share: I hate the way the night ended. I'm saddened and distressed by the events that happened and by what was said. I feel like something has broken and I'm at a complete loss as to how to fix things or if they even can be fixed.
I hope things are clearer in the morning for us all.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011
Had a nice day at work today... so far my co-workers seem really great. They ordered pizza and brought cupcakes today to celebrate one of their birthdays and I got to know them all a little better. So far everyone that works with me seems okay, I haven't experienced and "office politics" yet and luckily haven't had my lunch stolen or any of those other stereotypes of office workers. I'm still not convinced that I'm actually an adult yet.. but maybe there's hope for me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
thoughts from under my umbrella...ella ella ella (eh eh eh)
I had to make a decision today... should I use my cute (but small) gray cheetah print umbrella or my larger (but less cute) green Hotel Peninsula one. I actually thought about this for a few minutes sitting in my car and looking out at the cloudy sky. I decided that since I work in an air-conditioned office it would really ruin my day and make me grumpy (not to mention probably get me sick) to sit there cold and wet because I wanted to look cute for the 10 min it takes me to walk to my office.
There were all kinds of people with their umbrellas out this morning. And the umbrellas were as varied as the people. Small basic black umbrellas seem to dominate, although several people were seen with those huge aerodynamic umbrellas (the ones with two tiers and slits to let the wind through). The people holding these monstrosities tended to be older women (in their 40s-50s.) I saw a father holding an umbrella over his head while his son wore an orange raincoat and went umbrella less.
But what stuck me was a girl who wore stilettos and had a tiny red umbrella. I couldn't understand how she could mange. What with the rain and the heels and the mini umbrella. I realized then what my main problem is: I will always want to be that girl, but will never be able to manage it. I suppose it's because I'm a control freak, and I need to feel like I have things in order for me to cope with things.
Maybe if I could just learn to let go a little... be more laid back. Like a surfer girl who doesn't worry about getting her driver's side chair wet. But so far no luck. My nature is to worry and try to plan for certain things. And that's not so bad I suppose; preparation goes a long way in paving the road to success.
There were all kinds of people with their umbrellas out this morning. And the umbrellas were as varied as the people. Small basic black umbrellas seem to dominate, although several people were seen with those huge aerodynamic umbrellas (the ones with two tiers and slits to let the wind through). The people holding these monstrosities tended to be older women (in their 40s-50s.) I saw a father holding an umbrella over his head while his son wore an orange raincoat and went umbrella less.
But what stuck me was a girl who wore stilettos and had a tiny red umbrella. I couldn't understand how she could mange. What with the rain and the heels and the mini umbrella. I realized then what my main problem is: I will always want to be that girl, but will never be able to manage it. I suppose it's because I'm a control freak, and I need to feel like I have things in order for me to cope with things.
Maybe if I could just learn to let go a little... be more laid back. Like a surfer girl who doesn't worry about getting her driver's side chair wet. But so far no luck. My nature is to worry and try to plan for certain things. And that's not so bad I suppose; preparation goes a long way in paving the road to success.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
i *effe*ing love my friends
I've had the good fortune to spend time with many of my good friends these past few days. I'm reminded at how blessed I am to have such good people in my life. It's been hectic trying to hang out on weekdays or finding a time when (mostly) everyone is off work but they are always worth my effort. However I'm afraid that I might have to stop hanging out if I'm ever going to manage to get my ass to the gym... lol.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Days go by
So I realize that I've already failed at project 365 because today is the 10th and I only have seven posts... I'm not sure how that happened but in my defense I am going to say that the days really just seem to fly by... I seriously feel like I just got home from NYE 2010 but nope we're already almost 2 weeks into the new year!
I have a lot of plans for this year, one of which, is traveling. I'm planning on at least one trip this summer to Seattle and possibly Chicago area as well. I'm excited to revisit my temporary places of residence and see how they feel almost 6+ years later. Will they be as awesome as I remember? Or will the nostalgia be too overwhelming and make me all mopey? I expect that I will most likely still love both cities mainly because I'll know that I'm only there temporarily.
It's funny how when you know that something is fleeting you can manage to deal with it, or at times cherish it in a way that you wouldn't be able to if it were going to be for the rest of your life. My good friend says that I'm commitment-phobic and I suppose I'd have to agree with her. The idea of forever terrifies me. I'm not sure I'd be happy knowing exactly what I'll be doing 5 years from now. But on the other hand I tend to dislike the unknown and unfamiliar. I enjoy routines. This contradictory nature is often reflected in the life choices I've made (or allowed others to make for me).
I'd wanted this blog to be more than just somewhere for me to write the nonsense things that occur to me.. I wanted it to be... something that people who didn't know me and didn't give a damn about me would want to read because the content is so engaging/informative/amusing/whatever but I'm not sure if that's going to happen. I don't know how to write for others I suppose. Which is funny because I consider myself (in some ways) to be a writer. And what is the point of writing if no one's going to read it? I mean, the point of all communication, is to send a message. Now I'm not saying you can't send a message out into the universe ala message in a bottle thrown in the ocean, but usually the satisfaction we get in communicating comes from our seeing that the message has been received.
But for now... these are my thoughts being sent out into the universe (or multiverse if you prefer).They're incomplete, imperfect, inaccurate, and inarticulate, but they're honest.
I have a lot of plans for this year, one of which, is traveling. I'm planning on at least one trip this summer to Seattle and possibly Chicago area as well. I'm excited to revisit my temporary places of residence and see how they feel almost 6+ years later. Will they be as awesome as I remember? Or will the nostalgia be too overwhelming and make me all mopey? I expect that I will most likely still love both cities mainly because I'll know that I'm only there temporarily.
It's funny how when you know that something is fleeting you can manage to deal with it, or at times cherish it in a way that you wouldn't be able to if it were going to be for the rest of your life. My good friend says that I'm commitment-phobic and I suppose I'd have to agree with her. The idea of forever terrifies me. I'm not sure I'd be happy knowing exactly what I'll be doing 5 years from now. But on the other hand I tend to dislike the unknown and unfamiliar. I enjoy routines. This contradictory nature is often reflected in the life choices I've made (or allowed others to make for me).
I'd wanted this blog to be more than just somewhere for me to write the nonsense things that occur to me.. I wanted it to be... something that people who didn't know me and didn't give a damn about me would want to read because the content is so engaging/informative/amusing/whatever but I'm not sure if that's going to happen. I don't know how to write for others I suppose. Which is funny because I consider myself (in some ways) to be a writer. And what is the point of writing if no one's going to read it? I mean, the point of all communication, is to send a message. Now I'm not saying you can't send a message out into the universe ala message in a bottle thrown in the ocean, but usually the satisfaction we get in communicating comes from our seeing that the message has been received.
But for now... these are my thoughts being sent out into the universe (or multiverse if you prefer).They're incomplete, imperfect, inaccurate, and inarticulate, but they're honest.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I am very easily overwhelmed. I feel powerless sometimes and it feels like i'm being pushed in every direction. The past few weeks i've been feeling really emotional and at first I thought it was just pms but it hasn't gone away yet and I'm starting to think it might be more than the usual january blues. I don't think I'm sick again but I need to always be aware of what's going on in my head.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011
I felt a strong recognition when I read these words...
The hardy and flexible Willow bends without breaking. Its supple beauty is graceful and calming. Yet it is not Willows' looks that attract people; it is Willows' unique singularity that makes this sign stand out. Willow people are full of mystery and inexplicable charm, and that is the main reason why they are always surrounded by admirers.
The Willow Tree is usually associated with water, as it is often found in watery environments. Those creatures that typically surround water are thought to be more spiritually and psychically connected, and so many of the people born under this sign are highly intuitive, and they follow their intuition more than they would follow logic. The Willow Tree is a powerful sign, despite its fragile appearance.
Willows are highly emotional and very responsive to physical sensations; they are very sensually oriented. They enjoy bathing in the sun, basking in the cool water, and inhaling exotic aromas. Willow Tree people are more inclined to trust their feelings than their logic. Although they seem to be gentle and defenseless, in reality they are tough and determined people. It may not always be obvious, but Willows are almost always pursuing a goal, which they tend to keep top-of-mind.
Willow people are quite reserved; they don't like to order others around. At the same time, they can lose their tact unexpectedly and may say something they will regret later. Remaining Willows' friend is not an easy task. Willows don't accept compromises and never change their habits; even for the people they love the most.
When it comes to asking for help Willows can be very persistent and straightforward; but as soon as their problem gets resolved, Willows would go right back into their dream state of mind. They will keep emotional distance with others as long as they are not in need. It may be very tempting to reach out and help a weak and dependent Willow; but it may turn out that Willow is only putting on a game. People of this sign are usually capable of dealing with their own problems, but what for? There are plenty of people willing to resolve Willow's issues!
Willows despise dull, everyday feelings. They tend to blow things out of proportion; they tend to exaggerate every single emotion. Even if they don't admit it, Willow people are masochists. They yearn for heartache; they feed off the suffering; they thrive in separation. They would do anything to feel more alive.
--
Copyright (c) DailyHoroscope.
Download it now -- http://bit.ly/DHmobile'>Willow's Druid horoscope by DailyHoroscope (http://bit.ly/DHmobile)
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Friday, January 7, 2011
So I worked my first (EVER!) full 40 hour work week this week. I know the fact that I've not worked 40 hrs. before has surprised some of my friends, but I'm not sure why they would be surprised. Either way this week wasn't as bad as I feared. I'm still trying to get used to not having as much of "my" time as I used to... and that's been the hardest parts. I had all these ideas and plans (mostly regarding grad school) but I'm worried that not having time to properly stew (read: procrastinate/obsess) over my options and figure out what it is I want to study will keep me from pursuing going to grad school. My "brother" pointed out to me the other night that I don't usually have to work hard for things... they tend to just fall into my lap. And as much as I hate to admit it I think, that for the most part, he's right.
I don't usually have to work hard or fight for things. I've been really lucky in this regard. In the past few years I've experienced academic hardships that I'd never faced before... and while I wish I could say I managed to surpass them with a grace and elegance, the truth is that I didn't. In any way shape or form, conduct myself with any sort of maturity. In fact I whined and cried (literally) and bitched my way through those challenges.
I don't know if that means that I'm afraid of hard work. I mean if we're honest with ourselves no one wants to think of themselves that way. But maybe deep down inside we all know that it is the way we are. if there's a shortcut or an easier way to do it... why not? I don't know if I would say that I've taken short-cuts in life, I suppose it depends on how you look at it? Or what sort of life you think is the most "honest"?
I don't usually have to work hard or fight for things. I've been really lucky in this regard. In the past few years I've experienced academic hardships that I'd never faced before... and while I wish I could say I managed to surpass them with a grace and elegance, the truth is that I didn't. In any way shape or form, conduct myself with any sort of maturity. In fact I whined and cried (literally) and bitched my way through those challenges.
I don't know if that means that I'm afraid of hard work. I mean if we're honest with ourselves no one wants to think of themselves that way. But maybe deep down inside we all know that it is the way we are. if there's a shortcut or an easier way to do it... why not? I don't know if I would say that I've taken short-cuts in life, I suppose it depends on how you look at it? Or what sort of life you think is the most "honest"?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The things we can do with 20 min.
My closest guy friend made me dinner tonight as a "test drive" for him cooking a meal to impress his new potential girlfriend. The food was great as was the company and entertainment. Been musing on a few things for the past few days and think I am close to being ready to write a post on those thoughts. Perhaps tomorrow when I am not so down to the wire :-)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Look what I figured out!
Yay now I can update from my phone and drain my battery even faster lol. I wonder how long i'll keep up with blogging... Esp since i'm not getting any feedback that anyone reads it. Hmm.
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Monday, January 3, 2011
High Time
I like burning after work.. it feels really good and I sleep really good. I also don't feel everything so intensely which is nice because I've been super hormonal this past week.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The one where I do it for the first time
Hey, welcome to my blog. If I've forced you to visit and check it out you have now fulfilled your promise and can navigate away, if you've stumbled here on your own free will... well good luck to you! :-D I plan on making this space more personalized at some point so things will most definitely get screwy and whatnot. Please bare with me!
This blog is a part of project 365 and although I've missed a day I do plan on posting something new here everyday whether it's just a simple "this is what I'm wearing/thinking/eating/doing" type thing or a longer, more substantial diary like entry. I hope to find a great group of readers out there who I can get to know better over the course of this year.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. See you tomorrow!
This blog is a part of project 365 and although I've missed a day I do plan on posting something new here everyday whether it's just a simple "this is what I'm wearing/thinking/eating/doing" type thing or a longer, more substantial diary like entry. I hope to find a great group of readers out there who I can get to know better over the course of this year.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. See you tomorrow!
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